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"Weird Al" Rankovic

Nifty, Nov. 17th, 2023

Today, I set out to do the unthinkable -- something that was long believed to be impossible: taking someone else's idea. And this is the product of that. So here it is, my ranking of EVERY Weird Al album! (The reviews here won't be quite as in-depth as my album reviews, so make sure you check those out too if you're wondering what I think about a particular album.)

But what could I possibly consider my favorite Weird Al album? I've never told anyone, ever -- it's been a mystery this whole time, I'm sure... We'll need a top tier detective to even come close to deter--

It's "Running With Scissors." ... WHAT?! Where are the gasping crowds!! Anyway, to demonstrate my love for this album, I can even name the tracklist from memory! (Hover your mouse over this text to see.)

In a very close 2nd place, we kick it off with the song that rocketed Al into stardom for the first time, his primary polka partway passed-through, and a kickass tune out the other end. That's right, it's 1984's very own "'Weird Al' Yankovic In 3-D"! I believe I can name this one's track list, too.(hover to see.)

Third place was a tossup for me - I love both of the albums I was torn between - one of them was Straight Outta Lynwood, and the other Mandatory Fun. Eventually, I settled on Mandatory Fun in 3rd and Straight Outta Lynwood in 4th, just by virtue of having heard Mandatory Fun just a tiny bit more. And also, this is where the "hey here's the tracks on this album from memory" bit stops.

Fifth place was a pretty easy answer for me to give - it's the only album to feature the accordion on every track -- "'Weird Al' Yankovic", released in 1983! However, now that I gave my answer, I'm a little hesitant when I look at what albums we have left... there's so many good ones, and we're on FIFTH PLACE!? Also, I LIED! I can do this album from memory, too!(hover again.) (addendum 11/29/2023: Added the tracklist-from-memory, and also I got the LP of this on my birthday too! Sweet!)

Sadly, that means I have to give the next 9 spots to master-class albums. Long-dramatic-sigh, I suppose that's just how things go with these lists. Regardless, let's move on to 6th place - "Dare To Be Stupid". It's an amazing album, and just yesterday (as of writing this) I actually bought the LP of it with some of my birthday money on Discogs! I feel bad for putting it this low, honestly.

And another album that is absolutely amazing - and really does deserve a place in the top 3 - but I can't just say "they all tied for 3rd place", so I suppose there does have to be situations like "Poodle Hat" going in 7th place in a list like this. I'm sorry, Poodle Hat fans - I love it too. However, I did not particularly care for its lead single, Couch Potato; I think eBay woulda been a better pick.

Next, in eighth place, this album was supposed to have a third parody of Michael Jackson - but MJ turned him down. Personally, I think this saved him from the fate of "The Michael Jackson Guy." Regardless, "Off The Deep End" has earned the spot of number 8. Hey, it's got the best title for a polka medley - Polka Your Eyes Out.

And in 9th place, this album features probably his most famous song to date, as well as one of his two Christmas songs - "Bad Hair Day"! It's a great album, and though I've already said it for nearly every album above this one, I feel bad for putting it so low-- but there's only so many spaces in the top 5.

Finally at the bottom of the top 10, we have his other Christmas song-featuring albums, "Polka Party!!" Yes, I know I put two exclamation marks there. One of them is part of the title of the album. Polka Party! would be an alright album - although remarkably short (which it already is) - if it stopped at 9 tracks, but Christmas At Ground Zero is what really pushes this to 10th instead of 11th. However, don't think I dislike this album - far from it! I love it! Like I said hundreds of times before, only 5 spots in the top 5.

And just barely below "Polka Party!", we have "Even Worse". It might be controversial to say that "Even Worse wasn't as good as Polka Party!", but I suppose that just means it's living up to its title. That doesn't mean I dislike the album, though. Fat is a great song, as poorly as it's aged. Melanie and Good Old Days sound like they were about the same person, and Stuck In A Closet With Vanna White is... the other song on this album I can name from memory. Damn shame it missed out on a polka medley. The debut album could get away with it for using the accordion everywhere else, but this one didn't!

And in 12th place, it's my least favorite Weird Al album of the 21st century. If you're paying attention, you already know what it is, but for anyone else, I'll tell you. It's "Alpocalypse." It's a good album, but everything else on this list so far has been "my favorite", "kickass", "there's so many good ones and we're only on 5th place", "master-class", and "absolutely amazing". "Good" isn't gonna cut it when you're with 13 other albums that are good and above. But hey, TMZ is awesome. I think I get the Taylor Swift craze now.

Following it in 13th place, it's the other album with an Al pun in the title, Alapalooza. The album's good, and it has classics like Livin' In The Fridge. However, I don't get why Al still names Bedrock Anthem as a hit of his-- it was kind of an underwhelming parody, and Jurassic Park is just okay. I'm not much of a Jurassic Park fan personally, but I've played the song for some people who are, and they... didn't really seem to get it.

And in last place, once again, if you've been paying attention, you've known from the moment I said "other album with an Al pun in the title". It's UHF's soundtrack. It feels like a bit of a filler album, especially with Fun Zone- a completely instrumental track. Don't get me wrong, the songs on it are good - Biggest Ball Of Twine is one of my favorites - but the album doesn't really tie them together well enough. It feels like songs from the movie, and stuff Al just happened to make at the same time. Almost like it's more so a soundtrack, and some other stuff. Hey, what do you mean that's the title of the thing!?

So with that, my final top 14 list is as follows:

  1. Running With Scissors
  2. "Weird Al" Yankovic In 3-D
  3. Mandatory Fun
  4. Straight Outta Lynwood
  5. "Weird Al" Yankovic
  6. Dare To Be Stupid
  7. Poodle Hat
  8. Off The Deep End
  9. Bad Hair Day
  10. Polka Party!
  11. Even Worse
  12. Alpocalypse
  13. Alapalooza
  14. UHF: Original Motion Picture Soundtrack And Other Stuff

And before you go back, I want to remind you... if you think I wrongly put your favorite in the bottom 3... well, you're only as wrong as you think I am. And also, every single album on this list is absolutely amazing-- I've listened to the hell out of all of them!

OK, now beat it.